Friday, March 31, 2006

Fun with my new scanner! Part 2

This is me and my brother when we were about to go deep sea fishing in the Gulf of Mexico many years ago. You can tell that I was going to become a giant. Look at the size of my hands!

When this picture was taken, little did we know that we were about to enjoy five hours of violent illness on the high seas. We didn't take any sea sickness medication, because we didn't want to be drowsy. Well, we didn't sleep much. We spent the majority of the trip leaning over the side of the boat feeding the fish. I still look back on this trip with fondness, however. That's funny. I've probably never been that sick in my life, and yet I love this memory.

Oh, we still caught fish. We're dedicated to excellence in all areas of life. We came to fish, and nothing was going to stop us. However, we do look a little exhausted in the after pic.


Here it is! The premiere strip of Struggling. Hope you like it.

Delicious link!

This hasn't been the best day so far. I woke up hungover for the first time in a long time. I read an email from a girl that broke my heart that said she wasn't physically attracted to me. This isn't news, but it's just something you don't want to start your day with. My fault, of course. I sent her a drunken email last night trying to clear up some things that I would never bother with while sober. Mission accomplished. I am not attractive.

I went out last night to see The Squares and apparently got fairly lubricated. You should really go here if you want to hear The Squares. Tonight, I'm supposed to go back out and see The Whiskey Saints. I don't know that I'll be drinking too much, though. I guess I can't hang like I used to. Besides, drinking does not help you become more attractive...unless everyone else is drinking, too. Maybe I should send that girl a picture of me and a bottle of vodka and tell her to call me when things change.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Looking back and laughing

Here are the first five strips of Loft Boys from when I brought the comic strip back to the Purdue Exponent during the second semester of my second senior year. The strip got very little recognition when it was previously in the paper my junior year (only one of those), and I think it was because it never grabbed anyone's attention. And why should it have? College students are far too busy with their regular lives to go out of their way to find some obscure comic strip in the student paper. So to get the attention that this strip deserves (and I obviously need), I brought it back with controversy, sex, and alcohol. In other words, I went after the Greek system. My comic strip become a moderate campus controversy, and in my mind, a huge success.

I know these are too small to read. I don't know how to fix that on Blogger. If anyone knows how, please inform me. Meanwhile, there's a link before each strip that will give you a much easier read.

Delicious link!

Delicious link!

Delicious link!

Delicious link!

Delicious link!

I've been writing a few new ones. I've changed Jack's hair, since so many people think he's a girl. That's a little embarrassing considering his hair is modeled after my hairstyle from when I created him. Anyways, he's much cooler now. Just like me?

I think I like setting them in Los Angeles and in "The Industry". They've been out here for about 5 years, and they are not successful. Jack is an actor/musician, and Scott is a comedian/director/writer/producer. Smiley is currently not being included. I know. I'm sad, too.

I need a new title. Currently, I like Struggling. It looks funny, and it's funny to say.

Good advertisement lines:
Struggling is a laughing matter.
Have you had your does of Struggling today?
Who enjoys Struggling? Why everybody, of course!

I'll get some of the new ones up soon. I need to make final sketches, and I do hate finals.

EDIT - The links work now. If you had trouble, refresh this page and try again.

Fun with my new scanner! Part 1

Dan's doing much better these days.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Hey, last night did you watch--oh yeeeaaaah...I forgot

I have no more television. Technically, I have no more cable, but I haven't attached an antenna, so that means no TV period. My cable bill + internet was over $100, and frankly I don't gots that kinda cash. It's just internet for me now. That's fine. Maybe I'll finally get some shit done. I still have my Netflix. I still have my Playstation 2. I still have my internet. That's good enough for now. How much home entertainment does one person need anyway?

I'm going to lift some weights now. Get huge. Get pumped. Get ripped. Get acne.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Sherlock Joelmes takes the case!

I've had two interesting calls today. Twice today my phone has rung without me answering it. And both times, no one left a message. In these times of cellphones and caller i.d., it's pretty unusual for someone to call and not leave a message, let alone for this to happen twice in one day.

These are calls from two different phone numbers, you understand. Were these calls from two different people? It could have been one person from two different phones. But the area codes were different, and neither of them were from the Los Angeles area. If this was one person on two different phones, the caller would have to be either quite a traveler or live in a metropolitan area. Well, the location of these area codes shouldn't be too hard to figure out.

The first call I received was from area code 561 at 11:42am. I was just coming out of the shower when I heard the phone ring. It started ringing when I was only about 10 feet away, so I took my time walking to it. Running to answer a ringing phone is the #8 leading cause for injury in the home. Unfortunately, I was too slow, because just as I opened my phone, the screen read Missed Call. So, either the caller hung up just before I could answer, or my phone gave me the old short ring and went to voicemail. The short ring can be such a pisser.

The second call came from the 407 area code at 4:55pm. This call came while I was trying to do a load of laundry. I didn't have my phone on me and was completely consumed with rage over the fact that the only available washing machine had just eaten another $1.50 of mine. That's $4.50 in the past two weeks! And, it's not just the one washer, either. Both of the washing machines have robbed me during this stretch! I went to my apartment manager who was actually here for once, and she told me that a maintenance guy was here to work on things. I told him that the washer wasn't working, and he said that he was only here to check on the new paint job in the laundry area. So, I said, "Oh. Well, the washers don't work. I'm losing money in them, and my clothes are not getting clean. But the paint looks great!" How do you check on a paint job? What are the walls going to do? Change colors on you?

So, I missed that call completely.

I jumped on my handy dandy internet and Googlized these area codes. 561 is from Southeastern Florida, Palm Beach County. 407 is from Central Florida, Metro Orlando. Those sound fairly close to me. Let's go to the map!

As you can see, the two locations are close to each other but not super close. Certainly, the caller could have a friend that has a phone with the other area code that they might have borrowed to make one of the calls. But, I'm starting to think that these are phone calls from two different people. I have a theory, you see.

What day is it today? Monday. What just went by? The weekend. What happens on the weekend? People party. Why do they party? Guys are trying to get laid, and girls are looking for guys with a lot of money. Do the guys get laid? Not unless they have a lot of money. What do they get instead? A lot of fake phone numbers.

Somewhere from Orlando to Southeastern Florida there's a chick saying she's from Los Angeles and giving out my phone number to guys that don't have enough money for her to sleep with them. These two guys then called my number today and hung up quickly when they heard my masculine voicemail. It is possible that they think I'm this girl's boyfriend or even husband, but I'm fairly certain they've been given wrong numbers before and are a little used to this.

In the meantime, if I receive anymore calls from strange area codes, I think I'll just let the voicemail answer and see if someone wants to leave me a message. Picking up and answering just wouldn't be the right thing to do. It could be even more embarrassing for these poor idiots if they actually had to talk to me, and I feel sorry enough for them as it is.

Well, it looks like Sherlock Joelmes has done it again! Another mystery solved and another load of laundry left unwashed. See you next time, kiddos!

Who names their kid Ludacris? That's ludicrous!

Ang Lee watched a tape of the 1998 Academy Awards for tips on how to accept an Oscar.

Who watched the Oscars last night? I did. Kind of. Not really. I was actually watching Scream 3 and Scary Movie 3 on TBS and occasionally flipped to the Oscars on the commercial breaks. I just wasn't feeling the Oscars this year. However, I did flip over at one point just in time to see Ang Lee win Best Director for Brokeback Mountain. The first thing he did as he accepted his award was quote his own movie by saying to the little statue, "I wish I knew how to quit you." When Ang Lee saw James Cameron make his acceptance speech for Titanic and exclaim, "I'm the king of the world!" he must have thought it went over pretty well. However, right after Ang said this, the cameras panned the audience where multiple celebrities had a look of horror on their faces. But those expressions quickly changed to polite smiles and muffled laughter, because hey, Ang's foreign and thus deserves a free pass on this faux pas.

This morning, I caught a little bit of the replay of E!'s Red Carpet special. My favorite moment had to be when Isaac Mizrahi interviewed Ludacris.

Isaac (an effeminate fashion designer) told Ludacris (hip hop star) that he admired his sense of style and asked him if there was anyone that he emulated. Ludacris told him that he copies the style of Chris Bridges. "Who's that?" asked Isaac. Ludacris said that Chris Bridges is a new up-and-comer in Hollywood that has already sold over 10 million albums. By this time, it was pretty obvious that Chris Bridges is Ludacris' real name. But Isaac just had this blank look on his face as Ludacris walked away. It was beautiful.

Come on, Isaac. Chris Bridges? Ludacris? I wouldn't be surprised if Isaac Mizrahi occasionally gets baffled by Blue's Clues.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

You broke the toilet seat? How did that happen?

I had no idea you guys were so interested in hearing about my life! Over the past few weeks of internet silence, I have received dozens, nay tens of emails and letters asking me when I would post my next entry. Flattered, embarrassed, shamed, intrigued, giddy, gassy...those are just a few of the emotions these encouraging emails have within me stirred. Normally I prefer to have my emotions shaken, not stirred, but I still feel compelled to once again regale my faithful readers with tales of the past, current, and possibly fictional occurrences of my life.

I'm on hiatus from work. During this time off, I'm supposed to be doing all these important, creative things that will help me move my life in a positive, rewarding direction. Instead, I've been getting distracted. Online poker, television, castings (I'm still kind of working), and online poker have been taking up large portions of my free time. My parents came into town for a week, and that was a welcome distraction.

I'm the only member of my family that is still not living in Indiana. After my brother's family moved back last summer and my little sister got married (which can firmly plant anyone in suburbia), I was the sole Sumnyr left for my parents to visit. But when my parents visit me, they don't come to catch up on the goings on in my life. We don't go on any scenic trips or plays or do much of anything that is considered vacationing. Instead, they come to help me straighten up my life. No complaining here. This time I needed their help.

Instead of staying in a hotel, my parents stayed with me in my apartment. We all slept in the same room, because no one wanted to sleep in the kitchen. They purchased a queen-size bed to sleep in and then give to me. Actually, the charity guys were just here to pick up my twin bed and take it away. So there's one great thing from my parents' visit. I finally have a grown-up bed. And though it was a generous gift from my parents, I do feel like I paid for it a little. I did stay in the same room with my parents for a week at the age of 28. That's a serious test of stamina. I did consider smothering my father with a pillow one night due to his snoring. It's awful, the snoring. It sounds unhealthy. Painful at times. Labored. Stuttered. Loud. Sometimes whistles. I tried putting Kleenex in my ears the first night, but I was scared to roll on my side and have tissue forced into my brain.

My mom and dad bought me a bunch of stuff I needed, mostly from the 99 Cents Store. We went to a restaurant nearby called Mimi's for lunch one day, and my dad was so impressed by the portion of pot roast he received, that he insisted that we eat there each day. It was a lot of pot roast. My mother cleared out the mountain of boxes, books, and junk that had taken over my kitchen. My apartment is now officially presentable thanks to my mother's cleaning and expert placement of three pictures, a dart awards plaque, a table, and a light that actually turns on when you hit the light switch by the door. Not to mention all the scrubbing, dusting, sweeping, and general cleaning of the place. I have a new toilet seat, too. My dad broke the old one on his first of many extended trips to my bathroom. The seat cracked in two. Perhaps Mimi's is a little too generous with the pot roast.

Luckily, my mom apparently didn't find the condoms stored in an extra-bathroom-item-Tupperware. It would have been awkward trying to explain to her how long they have been there. "It's not like I'm using them anyway, mom!" She did however see a t-shirt of mine that says in bold letters, "Poke smot?" I told her that someone gave it to me, laughed it off, and put it in my drawer of shirts I was keeping.

It was a good visit, but now that they're gone I'm finding it difficult to get anything done. I have this overpowering urge to be lazy. Except for my morning hikes. Those are going strong.

Today, I have to write a treatment for a short film that my friend wants to make. Basically, I have to tell the story in paragraph form with no dialogue. There isn't hardly any dialogue in the story to begin with, so that part won't be difficult. However, I'm adding a new scene to the film AND I'm making adjustments to the whole story to make it better for screen. Originally, it was just a short story, so some of the story elements have to change. I can't describe anything. Everything has to be told visually.

I know all these things about what makes a story work and about how films can be entertaining or boring. I'm an excellent critic when it comes to this topic, however, I really don't have much experience actually creating. I'm a writer that never writes. In other words, I'm having doubts about my abilites. It's something I'll have to work through. I know that as soon as I sit down and start writing, everything will come out fine...and that I'll enjoy the process. But, I'm lazy you understand.