Friday, March 09, 2007


My time assisting others in getting their cars repossessed is coming to an end. Turning in my two week notice, which I did yesterday, was a difficult decision for me. I enjoy helping people. I'm a giver. It's what I do. And giving people's cars, trucks, and occasionally their campers back to the financial institutions that provided the loans was a rewarding job. The joy I heard in the voices of customers when I told them how to contact certain repo agents to retrieve their babyseats which had been taken in the middle of the night along with their only means of transportation was more fulfilling than you might imagine. Though they might have said, "But I don't have a car to get to the agent's office!" I heard, "Thank you, kind sir. You have been an angel of mercy to me in this world of darkness and despair!" Well, you are welcome, gentle debtors of America. I will miss you, courageous credit challenged ghetto dwellers. Be well, sudden illness caused you to lose your job and your ex-spouse isn't making payments on the car you cosigned and your 65-year-old father used identity theft of your 3-year-old daughter to get a loan and you're in jail or Iraq or jail in Iraq or on an Indian reservation where no one has an address except for "3 miles south of the Jiffy Lube" beautiful people. You are the life blood of this great nation, and I salute you.

But alas, it is time for me to move on.

Soon after I arrived here in Indiana I heard Claude Stuart on the Bob and Tom Show. I know Claude from doing comedy in Los Angeles, and you can read all about this in a previous entry. Well, yesterday I read a bulletin from Mr. Stuart on Myspace that announced he is back in Indianapolis and performing at Crackers downtown. I don't know all the places that Claude performs, but wherever else he may go, he's done all that and is back in town again. The circle of comedy has once again been completed, and thus, it is time for me to also begin to spin. And no, I'm not going to his show.

I'm cereal about comedy!

And so my journey towards career redemption begins. First stop, Minneapolis for the Last Comic Standing auditions on March 27. I get to perform my best two minutes in front of two producers. As to what those two minutes are, I still have no idea. Maybe I'll write something new. Something fresh. Something original. Something about airline food. Maybe I'll do a Seinfeld impression. Years ago I wrote an original Seindeldian joke that probably only I think is funny.

{Seinfeld voice}
I've been hearing people say that they are down lately. "I'm down with this." or "I'm down with that." How did these people become so down? If they are down now, did they used to be up? And if they were up, did they not like it? I-I-I-I-I prefer to be up!

Just remember. If I tell a joke and you don't laugh, you don't get it, and should be ashamed of yourself.

I am assuming that I will be going up against a lot of comics that have a ton more experience than me, so I'm going to need to find an edge. I have decided on the Antonella Barba strategy. I won't be as funny or refined as the other comedians, however I will be publishing racy pictures of myself on the internet. America loves a good slut, and I'm going to give them one.


At Saturday, March 10, 2007 at 11:17:00 AM EST, Blogger Dan said...

You always were the biggest slut int he house, even if you weren't getting laid.

At Tuesday, March 13, 2007 at 9:50:00 AM EDT, Blogger Dan said...

So, what the hell are you going to do?

At Tuesday, March 13, 2007 at 9:58:00 AM EDT, Blogger Noel Montgomery said...

I'm trying to get an office/production job. Does that answer your question, or do you need more specifics?

At Tuesday, March 13, 2007 at 4:53:00 PM EDT, Blogger Matthew said...

shouldn't you get a new job before quitting your old one?

At Tuesday, March 13, 2007 at 5:42:00 PM EDT, Blogger Noel Montgomery said...

Yes...if you have a job that pays enough money. But I don't. I could get another job that pays what mine does pretty easily.


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