Smooth Flavor

The women in Indiana are smokin'!!!

Seriously, they all smoke. Almost every girl at work can be seen periodically outside the door of shame smoking a cigarette in 10 degree weather. I don't pass irreconcilable judgement against them for smoking, as I was once a smoker, and I do not fool myself to believe that I absolutely will never again be under the vice of nicotine addiction. However, smokers smell. They just do. And everytime a girl who was outside smoking walks by my cube and I get that stale odor wafting by my partially stuffed sinuses, I can't help but be a little repulsed.

I suppose I could be in a relationship with a girl that smoked. It's possible. But I may just have to start smoking again myself, just so we both stink. Every smoker knows that they are impervious to the stale smell of a cigarette smoked. When you consume a cigarette you are immediately blessed with the Radiating Shield of Funk. This shield not only protects you from funk, it repels others by putting off a funk of it's own. Putting on this shield is like telling others, "Funk me? Funk me??? Funk you, Buddy!!"



Man, now I kind of want a cigarette. You see how crazy these things are? Once you've smoked and then quit, you will constantly be hounded by the desire to smoke again! That's another problem with seeing all these people smoke all the time. It's silent peer pressure.

There. It's passed. I'm fine. I have enough other addictions to satisfy me now anyways...like situps. I'm on a crazy situp kick. I'm determined to get a six-pack. Once I get six-pack abs, I will be able to conquer the world. And once I conquer the world, I'll be able to play as many video games as I want. Which is really what life is about. The freedom to play video games.