Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Have shovel, will travel.....very far away.

"We've got so much shit to do and just not enough time to do it in."
-What I overheard one bundled up girl say to another bundled up girl in the elevator before they went outside to smoke a cigarette.

There is a lot to be done, but priorities come first. Since I quit smoking a while ago, I can cross that off. Next on the list, plan my escape from Indiana. Don't get me wrong. I have enjoyed my time here. It has been productive and memorable. What a blessing for me to be in Indianapolis for the Colts Super Bowl victory. Watching the game with friends and then partying at a bar filled with Colts is an experience I would have missed in Los Angeles. High five laps around the bar, the victory cigars I handed out and enjoyed, the countless beers and the one shot of Jagermeister too much, the chants of Let's Go Colts!...it's all permanently ingrained in my mind.

Now that football is over, the only thing that's keeping me here is the cartoon. The first episode is finished, and I have no idea if it's funny. We haven't had an official release, because there are a couple kinks to work out, and the webpage needs some tweaking. You could find it if you tried hard enough, though. The webpage even has a link to my blog, so I fully expect my readership to double.

But I do have to get out of here. It's stupid how cold it is. It's snowing right now. How am I going to get home for lunch today? I have to risk my life for a ham sandwich? Who am I? Mama Cass? Don't tell me I'm going to have to shovel a driveway at 7am. I can't handle that. I'm a lover, not a snow shoveler.

I'm supposed to do comedy tonight, but I am predictably underprepared. There are even supposed to be some people coming to this show, but it looks like the snow may save me. Who wants to trek through a snowstorm for open mic comedy? Hopefully no one. I would like to do some material about the commercials during the Super Bowl...though I haven't written any jokes about them. All I could think about while they played is how blatantly violent they were and for no apparent reason! I'm all for violence in entertainment, but it has to have a purpose...and loving chips isn't a good enough reason. In a Doritos ad, some guy got into a car accident, and then a girl rushed out into traffic to help him and got hit by a car! Mmmm...Doritos. I guess the joke is that they're worth dying for, but I'm not laughing. Just having people getting hurt doesn't equate humor. Creativity is supposed to be involved in these commercials! Is that too much to ask? For some decent writing?? I mean, they only cost millions of dollars to produce! Screw Doritos. I'm officially boycotting them for insulting my intelligence with their frivolously violent crap. I suppose next year they'll run a spot where some guy is eating from a bag of Doritos and then some other dude walks up to him, shoots him in the head, and takes the bag. Mmm...Doritos. Worth killing for.

And people said the best commercial involved talking lions. Come on...talking animals? Are we still doing that? The best commercial I saw (and granted, I was paying MUCH more attention to the actual game) was the Coca Cola "Grand Theft Auto" commercial. There was some violence in it, but it was resolved with perfect balance. I liked it so much that I'm enjoying a Coke right now. However, you will find no Doritos on my desk.


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