Things I learned from St. Patrick's Day in Chicago

1. Brady Quinn's stepbrother doesn't have faith in his upcoming NFL career...and he's not afraid to have a conversation at a urinal.

2. All air mattresses are not created equal. "I am so tired. I think I'll go lay back down on that air mattress and wake myself up."

3. If I ever join a gym again, I'm going to the kickboxing class as much as possible. I was the only guy in there, and these girls looked great. I mean, they kickbox.

4. The "kick" in kickboxing refers to your ass the next morning.

5. If a girl catches you doing pushups in her kitchen late at night, she will make fun of you.

6. Do as many pushups as you can as often as you can. Chicks dig beach bodies.

7. Beautiful Girls is a good movie. I think. I watched it twice, but saw very little of it.

8. You only need to eat one meal in the morning if you drink Guinness the rest of the day.

9. Chicago is loud, crowded, and cold...and I dug it.

10. If you're handicapped and live in Chicago, you might as well move. Stairs everywhere.

11. You can fit 6 people in a taxi.

12. The toll road leading into Chicago is a rip off. They should pay you to wait in that line.

13. The "kick" in kickboxing refers to your ass two days later.