Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I'm a Huge Fan

In lieu of the recent popularity of my site thanks to AOL and Google image searches, I have officially declared Single File Eyes the unofficial fansite of Jamie Foxx. Some of you may be thinking, "Noel, I don't come here to read about Jamie Foxx! I come here for your comedic observations and abdominal muscle updates!" Well, you are outnumbered. If you want to discuss abs, then I suggest you check out Mr. Foxx's midsection in the pictures in the post below this one. I mean, they're the real reason my site is taking off! You and me, Jamie. Together we will take the internet by storm!

Sex Symbol

Face it. Jamie Foxx is an international superstar who has successfully crossed genres from comedy to seriousity to sexosity back to comedy with a little bit of singerosity mixed in. This cannot be denied, and I will not ignore his fame anymore! Jamie Foxx, you are a god among men. Hallowed be thy sweaty abs.

I put in a little stage time last night and had a pretty good set. I seem to be alternating between bombing and doing well lately. Same material. Same energy. It's gotta be the audiences...or the shoes. I wore hightops last night, and a couple of my jokes achieved a tad more hangtime than expected. (rim shot) I don't have much time before the Last Comic Standing audition, so I'm really pushing to write more material. I'm also working on a good story to help me win over the hearts of America. I'm considering getting a tattoo of my baby who died.

The cartoon is in a holding pattern lately, because Ivan took a much needed vacation to Miami. Seriously, this guy works too hard, and I'm glad he finally took some time off. Can you imagine putting in three-hour shifts, day in and day out and day out, occasionally having to actually go into the office?? Incredible, this man's fortitude.

Ivan goes body surfing.

I lied. Let's talk about my abs some more. Ivan has not been bringing it. He's soft. Doughy. Marriage has sucked his will to get a beach body. Not me, though. I'm still motivated and have an ab update for you. I have earned a crease! That's right, a crease has formed down the upper middle of my stomach. I'm very excited about my new crease, and I can't stop touching it. I've been running my fingers down my crease all day. I have to do this secretly, though. I don't want any of my co-workers to see me fondling my crease. If they did catch me, I'd probably have to end up showing them my crease, and then they'll want to touch my crease...and I'm pretty sure we have a company policy against sticking your fingers in another employee's crease.


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