Friday, October 27, 2006

I Must Become Dumber for the Good of the World!

I just had the most foul-tasting cup of coffee I can remember drinking. But it has instilled a fervor within me, a fervor for appeasing our clients.

I work for a company that facilitates communication between lenders and repossession agents. It's not the worst job I've ever had, however I am starting to get a little disheartened by the fact that my employers want me to be a robot. My brain is active and adept at solving mysteries. When I am in mystery-solving mode, I put on my double-billed cap and become Sherlock Joelmes. Sherlock Joelmes has solved many complex conundrums in his time and his works have most likely saved the lives of hundreds of innocents. However, now the Man has decided that Sherlock Joelmes needs to be muzzled.

We had a meeting a couple days ago about the clients always being right. This meeting was about me--I mean, Sherlock Joelmes, though he was never specifically mentioned. Apparently, Sherlock was wrong for telling a client that he might be mistaken about an apartment number he gave. The incomparable Sherlock Joelmes astutely noticed that the given number was most likely not for an apartment but instead for a license plate. Not just any license plate number mind you, but specifically a truck in California. Sherlock Joelmes knows his license plates. The car this lender was looking for was an Impala, so the plate wasn't even for the car he wanted. But since this meeting was held, Sherlock Joelmes now knows that the client is always right and he should accept whatever they tell him…even when they tell him that an apartment number is 5M46411.

Sherlock Joelmes has now been replaced with the Joeltron 2800.

The Joeltron 2800 is now drinking a Vault soda to get that bitter coffee taste out of his circuits. He is a car repossessing machine! Well, a machine anyways.


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