Caffeine. A cure for retardation.

I have just returned from my first 10 minute break of the day that I like to take at 10:00. I used it to go to my car and retrieve a dollar in quarters which I then used to purchase a Mountain Dew. I'm tired today and need some chemical assistance. There's a wide variety of soda options in the break room, and to be honest I prefer this new Coke product called Vault. It's similar to the Dew, but it's less sweet yet has more bite. Plus it claims to be an energy drink/soda hybrid, and I have a serious addiction to energy drinks. However, today (and the past two days) I have ignored the available Vault soda and gone with Mountain Dew.

Why would I Do the Dew when the Vault is...open? Because I'm a sucker for games. I am a marketer's dream. Mountain Dew currently has a "Collect Caps for Caps!" promotion running where under each cap is either a coupon for purchases at NFLshop (pointless, because I'll never buy anything there), a free 20 oz Mountain Dew (pointless, because there are no 7/11's in Indiana), or an NFL team name (gold, Jerry!). If you match 3 caps with the same NFL team name you win a NFL team cap of your choice! Do I want an NFL team cap? Not really. But as with most games, it's not about the prize. I just love to play! So far, I have one Bears, Texans, Giants, and Chiefs each. God help me if I ever get two of one team. I may start drinking five Mountain Dews a day! Obviously, if anyone is collecting these caps, let me know. Perhaps we can work out a trade.

I love caffeine. It's a known fact. Today, I NEEDED it. I don't think I got much sleep last night. I woke up in the middle of the night and tossed around in that almost dreaming but not quite sleeping state for hours. By the time my alarm went off, I only registered three hours of legitimate sleep. I arrived at work a Zombie, and my morning can of Coke wasn't making a dent in my fogginess. You know you're half asleep when you sprout morning wood in your cubicle. I felt like a kid again! Like a very tired, horny kid.

A little while after the...er...excitement wore off, I had a co-worker ask me if I had change for a Five. I drearily looked in my wallet and counted four Ones. So I told him that I could give him four and he could owe me one. He laughed and said, "No thanks." I wondered why he wouldn't. Was he worried that he would forget to pay me back? I was officially retarded.